Victoria Street

Victoria Street is a jamboree of colour & quirky shops, admired as the bonniest street in Edinburgh. Soaking in its bewitching old world charm is essential to any exploration of the old town.

It’s reputed to be an inspiration for Diagon Alley, with a ribbon of cobbles curving upward, multiple levels hosting an eclectic throng of boutique shops and pointy roofs touching the sky it’s not impossible to see why.

TRUTH  Upon consultation JK Rowling would tell you it’s not nearly so much an inspiration as her imagination, whilst tapping the wonder loom (her head).

So, fer instance, where’s Potage’s cauldron shop? And the books in the Old Town bookshop?! They don’t even bite. Not even nibble.

Rowling is precious about credit & truth. Harry Potter is greatly the result of an epic, obsessive imagination, Edinburgh’s gift was texture. Drink it in.

To celebrate the 20^th anniversary of the release of the Philosopher’s Stone in 2017, Diagon House, a stone vaulted Harry Potter shop exploded onto the scene, echoing Professor Snape’s Potions classroom.

Diagon House shared a post on Facebook:

A few more sorcerous shops stud the street outfitting pupils with the essential kit for a new term at the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world.

I’m Sam a Harry Potter tour guide & former old town tour guide. This is my:

1. Guide to Victoria Street’s dazzling Harry Potter shops &
2. The block-busting confectioners which may have just apparated here from Hogsmeade.
3. The tale of the calamitous creation of Victoria Street.

Museum Context 🏺
formerly Diagon House

Home of interesting curiosities for the curious...

Two stone vaults stacked one upon another connected by a twisting narrow stair, a hungry metal dragon curves along the ceiling and every shelf, nook and corner is stuffed full of a curated selection of the finest instruments of witchcraft and wizardry in Potterdom.

After the 20th anniversary celebration summer, the shop rebranded as Museum Context, honouring it’s eclectic Scottish collection. Potter pilgrims the world over continue to converge on the shop for it’s Tardis like transportation.

Developed by Alice and Andrew McRae, a conservation architect, this is the busy, claustrophobic full on immersive Diagon Alley experience. The same scene & bustle Harry would have experienced elbowing sniggering Slytherins aside as he struggles to purchase his new year supplies.

Owner Andrew McRae says “The unique nature of these premises feels as if it was purpose built to offer a Harry Potter collection. This building feels like it’s found its perfect usage – you walk in and it feels like you’re walking into Ollivanders.”

What to do?

Explore the wand selection, take Hogwart’s magical Quill of Acceptance and try to wrestle your your name into the stern Book of Admittance, consider a T-shirt to declare your allegiance to the boy who lived, and scare companions with the monstrous props.

If you don’t have a house scarf yet, they sell officially licensed scarves made here in Scotland. The home of Hogwarts. I’m sure JK Rowling would happily tell you Scottish sheep are the best in the world, how else could our Hebridean Black Dragons grow to 30ft (9.1m) in length?

Naughty boys and girls perhaps?

To calibrate the senses, a polyester Slytherin scarf is £24.95 at the Warner Brother’s studio tour. Museum Context has something for every pocket but what it shines at is eclectic interior decorating.

There is a second Harry Potter Museum Context similarly stuffed to the brim on Cockburn Street. I really love their teddy bear dragons - oh to be 2!
They must have breathed some kind of fire because when I read the price tag my eyes began to water.

Many of the items are exclusive to the shop, the owners want to create something unique and special, I think they have.

Beware  If you don’t have Hagrid along to guide you, you may feel jostled and harassed. And don’t place your fingers too near the monster books of Monsters. The staff have a bucket by the door full to the brim with student’s digits bitten clean-off 🩸

Enchanted Galaxy ✨

Victoria Street’s embattled Harry Potter shop. It was called ‘The boy wizard’, but Warner Brothers weren’t fans. It rebranded as ‘The Great Wizard’, but Warner Brothers: still not fans.

If you’re reading this beloved Bros, my Potter tours are actually Tolkein tours, FOR REAL, complete with dancing Hobbits in Edinburgh’s Prancing Pony. But please please please give me 5 Fantastic Beasts movies - 😘 Sam

So the owners, the Gold brothers, changed the name to "The Enchanted Galaxy", blending magical fantasy and sky-full-of-stars sci-fi. When the Brothers Warner came knocking they opened the door and said

Uh? ’Arry Rotter? Never ’eard of ’im  🤷

If Museum context, with it’s higgedly piggedly selection of curiosities is the heart of cramped and crammed Diagon Alley, then The Enchanted Galaxy is Walmart, a gleaming concept store.

It’s safe, it’s charming in its own way, if it had floating candles, you’d known they were LED and weren’t going to splosh hot wax on your head or dinner.

Everything’s laid out neatly and fronted and sparkling. My eyes weren’t fatigued darting around trying to drink it all in, my elbows had their full range, and I never never never, not for a moment, feared a collision with a surly Draco Malfoy. I didn’t say "Sorry" once.

There might be a hungry Acromantula crawling around in the vaults beneath George IV bridge, occasionally, late at night, pushing a drain grate aside and dragging down a hapless tourist taking them to their nest and spinning them in silk. There might be, but they’re definitely fought back out of this well groomed shop.

It’s the shop for, you know, ‘Harry Potter was alright and all that, but I just want the T-shirt not the trauma’.

While Museum Context feels authentic because of the stone vaults and it’s mix of licensed merchandise, with curious curiosities, just like the bric-a-brac Diagon or Knockturn Alley; this shop is laser focused on the Potter merch.

A room that goes on and on like Hermoine’s Hallow’s bag it offers a good range of familiar affordable-ish movie memorabilia, perfect for kids who hunger to keep up with their schoolmates.

In its sister store, Wizarding World AKA Galaxy, 47-49 South Bridge, you can take a take a selfie upon a hard wooden stall in a crazy hat, just ask Professor Mcgonagall to hoist it on your head, while the shop’s Harry Potter music transports you to Hogwarts. That shop also contains a Star Wars and marvel memorabilia. Muggles eh?

I’m reminded of one of my kind reviewers “we got our Geek on and we loved it”, this is how I feel about all our Harry potter shops. They open and I think ‘Ohhh What’s new? What haven’t I seen? What do I miss that they might have?’ I desperately want a Mad Eye. Sooo bad.

Isn’t it magical?

We pass all 3 shops on Rowling’s Edinburgh & Complete Potterhead tours; if you’re after a Harry Potter souvenir, come along and cruise the shops with me.

The Mutt’s Nuts 🍺

Orwellian for The Dog’s bollocks, or in California ‘most excellent’.

The Nuts have a mini-fridge bursting with bottles of chilled Butterscotch beer beside the cash register. 0% alcohol & ½ the price of Warner’s; folk on my tours think they’re the Mutt’s nuts.

What’s unique about shopping here?
You can get a good mix of things, we’ve got the Christmas shop on the other side so you can get Christmas decorations all year round, so I think you can’t get much more unique than that.

They look specialer than Lidl,
Yes, they’re collectables for people who come on their holidays.

There are lots of Scottish themed ones, they’ll really make a Christmas tree pop and conjure memories of someone’s visit to Scotland.

What’s your most popular product?
Well the Harry Potter stuff is selling very well, we sell a whole range of products from books to mugs to anything you can think of... 💭 Flying Cauldron Butterbeer

What do people get most excited about when they’re kind of the shopping for Harry Potter?
Oh definitely the wands that’s why they’re right up front and center there. They’re Warner replicas [ genuine, snatched from the hands of witches and wizards ], ornaments more than toys.

You’ve got some badges here “I would rather be at Hogwarts” yes I share that sentiment. And Hogwarts prefect badges!
[ Fred and George have even visited and enchanted some of them to say ‘Pinhead’, that got my sister’s birthday sorted. I also bought her tickets to Britain’s longest zip line. A flying Pinhead. ]

What’s it like working here? What do you like to do here with friends?

Well it’s meant to be the inspiration for Daigon Alley, so we’re kept busy.

I like to have an ice cream over from the police box over there which opened last year. Sit out on the Conventer’s monument, the old hanging zone you know? A bit morbid for ice cream but probably a better use of the square now. That and then going to one of the many pubs in the Grassmarket around here.

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The pedestrianised Grassmarket at the bottom of Victoria Street has tables outside and over summer it has a relaxed, continental vibe.

Jokes

Aha

ha

ha

🥸

"We have whoopee cushions we have fake jobbies we have chattering teeth, rubber chickens, all the classics."

Do they though? They may... The remaining twin has retired & it’s in flux. It’s become a pop-up shop, over Halloween it was a costume shop, as of writing it’s a boutique handbag shop. The Groucho Marx fake nose & glasses adorning the shop front & defining the street in fans’ imaginations continues, alas, I fear, just for now.

• It opened in 1996, a year before the Philosopher’s Stone was published
• & years before Rowling had Ron, Harry & Hermoine visit Hogsmeade, which boasts the Weasley twin’s favourite: Zonkos Joke Shop.
• The actors who played Lucius Malfoy & Professor Trelawney visited.

I interviewed the bubbly staff of the shop that was.

What’s unique about shopping here?
Ohh the friendly service, [ laughter ]
That’s not unique though, that’s honest.

But there’s not many joke shops in Edinburgh you know? It’s a novelty in itself.

What’s your most popular product?
I think the fake jobbies,
No Way! Yeah you’ve got a full range there: cat jobbies, Human jobbies and kind of biscuity dog jobbies

We sell many many masks as well, the fake horse mask, and Donald Trump masks are very popular.
Yeah you’ve got Donald Trump in 3 different colours, that is amazing.
4 actually.
That’s going to be a really scary Halloween.
Yeah there’s going to be a lot of Trumps about.

So what’s the weirdest thing you’re asked for?
Well I’ve had some weird phone calls, I guess the weirdest, well a lot of people ask for Gimp suits.
No way!
And then Phalluses in various forms.
Ah of course, Hen parties visiting the Grassmarket.

What’s it like working on the street?
It’s great, there’s a lot of atmosphere, especially during Halloween and the festival. It gets very busy during the festival, artists come in for theatre props and magic as well. Everyone comes in, we had a few celebrities during the festival, jugglers...

Which celebrities?
Mostly standup comics, Al Murray has been in, Jack Whitehall

What did he buy?
He tried on this Trump mask, but he never bought it. He didn’t say very much he was like a little lost boy, he just let his agent do all the talking. His agent had to ask if he could use the toilet.

What would particularly interest Harry Potter fans?
The usual wands, a golden snitch, cloaks, scarves, we have ties of the various houses. Voldemort overhead mask.

I think a lot of people like to visit as well because this is what the joke shop was based on in Harry Potter, the Weasley brothers joke shop of course right on Diagon Alley [ Weasley Wizard’s Wheezes ] So we have a lot of fans coming in on their pilgrimages.

Bains retro sweets 🍬

For many fans their favourite part of Edinburgh’s ‘Diagon Alley’, isn’t actually on Victoria Street at all. A little bit further along from Overlangshaw’s icecream police box, midway up the Southside of the Grassmarket, is Bain’s retro sweets. If you’ve never had one of Dumbledore’s hard-boiled Sherbet Lemons it’s £1.20 for 100 grams. The same place Albus gets his.

Sherbet Lemons are Muggle candy, Dumbledore has strange tastes, but Bain has sweets that grow on trees, which is a bit magic.

Mr Bain says he’ll never be rich, but it’s a job and it’s been building and building for 5 years and best of all he says "nobody can sack you". He loves his nutty customers saying his website gets orders from all over the world despite the fact the postage cost often matches the price of the order.

Bain says he does a lot of corporate functions with his sweet cart for banks etc., he says folk are never too old. Well I think if you close your eyes & suck a Bains’ hard boiled sweet, as the warm nectar rolls down your throat it’s like you’ve swallowed a Time Turner, your tum’s transported to an earlier age.

Bains is utterly Scottish, he sells Haggis poo - Haggis poo collectors are apparently called ‘Haggis trackers’ - and Iron Bru creams. Iron Bru is Scotland’s second national drink, the sugar infusion picks us up the morning after a hard night on the Whisky.

Mr Bain’s biggest selling item is Scottish tablet, he has 350 reviews of it from all over the world. Mr and Mrs Bain make 8 trays of Tablet a week, so it’s like it’s just been plucked from the Tablet Tree.

What’s it taste like? Well he usually has little samples on his counter, but it’s like a softer crumblier fudge, it melts in the mouth with a buttery sweet taste.

Swish, clothes to make you pop in a slum.

I did an interview with the well spoken assistant in Swish, he made a good impression. He was passionate about Victoria Street’s identity as the most interesting sweep of boutiques in Edinburgh, and their battles to keeping the gimlet eyes of slave-wage Cafe Nero’s and the like averted.

What’s it like working on Victoria Street?
Lots of interesting shops and lots of great customers, always a really positive energy and a really unique interesting street to work on.

What’s unique about shopping in Swish?
What’s unique is that we’re an independent business, Independent shops fuels the local economy and it creates an interesting vibrant store.

What’s your most popular product, what do people get really excited about when they come into the shop?
They get quite excited about quite a lot of our stock We have them wide range of stuff that appeals to a lot of different people. Probably some of the Harry Potter inspired stuff does kind of create a great reaction in people, as well as our justice for ginger T. shirts, that’s quite popular too.

Do you have a big influx of redheads then into the shop?
Yep we do, we sell them on tote-bags and mugs too, people can buy one for themselves or for a gift or a joke whatever it’s got a really wide range of appeal.

So there’s this character called Ginny Weasley who has red hair she’s a very feisty, strong character, I think she’d probably go for that T-shirt if she was passing by.

We have a loose Harry Potter collection, [ about 5 distinct designs ] the store has a division between casual wear like the printed T-shirts, and what we call boutique wear, formal shirts, formal trousers, sweaters.

We try and ethically source a lot of our brands, we have a lot of different brands a wide range to suit a wide range of people [ looking for something a bit special ] and we try and include a wide range of prices to suit many people also. We try and give every customer an interesting and positive experience.

👔

They will clothe everyone from the Wizengamot to liberated House Elves and much of everything you can buy has been sourced locally; every purchase prevents chains from gobbling Edinburgh’s ‘Diagon Alley’.

If you’re after a Harry Potter T-shirt or sweater to remember your visit by, then this shop is ground zero. The designs are all dreamed up within Edinburgh and printed by upstanding elves (they take no renumeration) in a subterranean workshop just down the road, beneath the Castle; sublime craftmanship.

🦄 Swish’s unicorn tee

Florean Fortescue’s Ice cream parlour
Florean was abducted and murdered by Deatheaters. So Scotland’s smallest ice cream parlour is now owned by the Bergshaw family farm and, of course, they have a snake!

The Police box sells ice cream from Over Langshaw farm, South, near Tweedbank, in the borders. The bread basket of Scotland. The farm is powered by a wind turbine called Winifred, solar panels plate the farm house roof & the ice cream is made in a machine called “Sylvester”. Everything’s organic & maximum hippy.

Occassionally Lucy Bergshaw tests her bicep power with a stint in the dream Police box, and I’ve been given the full Bergshaw briefing. Their farm is special, all their animals have been given passports and liberty.

Killer hens 🏃‍♀️💨     🐓

Seemingly normal hens, they’re basically bred for factory farms, if you open the door they sit in their cages and squawk ‘get away, I’ve got neighbours to peck’. They’re essentially brutalised House Elves, hopeless.

But ice cream needs egg yoke to keep it stuck together, or it will just slop off the cone, instant slimed hand.

So the farm has a special breed of Braveheart chicken, who every morning paint half their face blue and charge out of the shed doors crying “Freedom!”. Columbian Black Tails who stay out till nightfall, 11pm in summer, marauding the fields, seeking stray English. Menace.

Lucy also told me her cousin has left her pet snake on the farm. You cannot believe how excited I got, “is it called Nagini?”, “No”, said Lucy, “it’s called No no”. Presumably it’s ravenous.

I interviewed Lucy’s wonderful assistant about life scooping, lunch & Overlangshaw’s flavours.

What’s unique about shopping here?
What’s unique, well the flavors are all very unique. We’ve got Whisky flavour, salted caramel flavour, we’ve got some wacky flavours, they’re very good.

They’re quite individual, we’re the only people who sell them because they’re made in our own farm, so you can’t get them anywhere else apart from here.
[ And a handful of fancy fancy restaurants. ]

Which one do you most often have with lunch?
Salted caramel, I feel that’s kinda perfect any weather as well, you can have it when it’s raining and you forget where you are.

Our most popular one is the Whisky one, Whisky ripple, it’s rippled with Raspberry.

What’s it like working here?
When it’s sunny like today it’s so nice working here. Before I worked in shops, and every day was the same, here every week we get different flavours…

• Rocky Royal Mile 🍯

Is Lucy’s sensational take on chocolate. It’s rammed full of fruit and vegetables: cherries, coconut, marshmallow, honeycomb. [ The finger of lava rock that is the Royal Mile is, in places, a honeycomb of passages and basements carved into the rock. ] It’s like 4 of your 3 a day, so you won’t need to eat vegetables for a week. I don’t know how that works, but it’s kinda magic.

• Greyfriars Bobby carrot cake 🥕

Greyfriars Bobby hung around the grave of his beloved master but for dinner off he would toddle to John Traill’s coffee house. John was well to do and cynics will tell you he was merely a shrewd entrepreneur, he knew that cultivating the legend of Bobby, keeping him fed and alive was good for business.

Whatever John’s motives, when the Royal Artillery at Edinburgh Castle daily fired the one o’clock gun off would go Bobby, tail wagging, doubtlessly enduring petting and occassionally wolfing down a chunk of carrot cake as he bewitched Traill’s patrons.

Bobby didn’t have a license though and John was harrassed by the Blue Meanies (Police) on a mission to purge the city of stray dogs. John eventually capitulated saying “Well look, he’s not my dug”.

🪓

At which point the Lord Provost William Chambers, head of the council, intervened & saved Bobby from the chop block.

Every January we gather on the first Sunday on or after the fourteenth in Greyfriars Kirk and the present Lord Provost sermonises the life of Bobby 💞 on the anniversary of his passing. We then of course eat Greyfriars Bobby ice cream! Or at least we do 6 months later.

January?
Wir nae thae daft.

It’s a creamy carroty explosion, you’ve never tasted the like & you can ask for a wee sample.

By far the most popular flavour is

• Glenfiddich Whisky 🥃

Whisky is our biggest export and our national drink, the ice cream is the most Scottish thing within a 1 mile radius, it’s more Scottish than The Castle, that’s just made of rock. It’s so Scottish the government has mandated it be served with a Saltire cross.

Glenfiddich means “valley of the deer” in Scottish Gaelic, hence the Glenfiddich logo is a stag. The Glenfiddich range has received more awards since 2000 than any other single malt Scotch whisky.

So Potterheads: what’s Harry’s patronus’ favourite desert? Could it be Over Langshaw farmhouse whisky ice cream?

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I’m not mad on whisky but I really like this ice cream, all the alcohol is boiled out during pasteurization leaving a cool-warm, smoky flavour; Lucy often ripples it with Rasberry which intermittently gives it a tart Zing! If you’re going for a few flavours, it’s Scotland, it’s sacrilegious not to make Whisky the summit.

Over Langshaw ice cream is also available in the Dog house, a friendly dog themed pub, where they sell a properly alcoholic & biscuity Butterbeer. Fosters with a gloop of secret sauce.

Mr Wood’s fossils 🦖

Minerals & meteorites & fossils.

If there’s something you’ve always fancied from the wizarding world, or you know someone who’ll cherish your impulse, (or extravagance), Edinburgh is the most meaningful and memorable place to splash the ₲alleons.

And if you spend here it allows us to buy pitchforks to fend off the Acromantula colony. I swear it’s growing. Where’s Newt when you need him?

I’ve written a tour of Harry Potter locations for fellow fans. We visit the heart of Edinburgh’s Wizarding commerce, Victoria Street, & sites key to the development of Rowling’s first son.

Harry Potter sights nearby

How to have the most fun at the Elephant House café; it’s 2 minutes skip.

Divine Rowling’s future with a palm reading of JK Rowling’s Edinburgh Award. 3 minutes walk.

Tom Riddle’s grave in Greyfriar’s Kirkyard and other character’s namesakes are 5 minutes walk through the lower, wrought iron gate of the Kirk. Or, if shut, scoot up atmospheric Candlemakers Row.

Credits

Scotsman’s history of Victoria Street.
Adrian Brannan mosaic Victoria Street
Lesley Ann Derks bonny painting of Victoria Street
Direwxlfs marvelous luminous Patronus
Glenfiddich logo: not sampled Scottish malt whisky ice cream? Call Madam Pomfrey! Child hasn’t lived.